My friend made me watch that dumb timeline video on the login page for Facebook. [italics, who logs out of Facebook?-] I was drunk, and watching that video became a weird, instant gratification type of scenario, that or a friends off type of state ensued......anyway. Watching that video was utterly the worst experience of my entire fucking life. The only thing better than being drunk and NOT watching that movie, is being drunk and deleting your Facebook all together. For that five minuetes, your mind will be a free raven, a soaring black blip on the cusp of the Internet, heralding in new and old information alike into the new day. Your hands will jostle busily at the keyboard, constantly bringing witty and exciting subject matter to your most forthright screen, where as before they hovered over only the mouse and your cell phone, twitching nervously with every passing moment devoid of constant smothering attention. Or touching your private while you masturbated.
For that five minutes you are nothing, and you have everything, spread before you Like a giant scrollable, reddit page of life. And then you get drunk, and then you die. The end.
Ps, nobody loved you. But I do!
