Friday, September 9, 2011

WHOOO even GOES to the Morrissey on a fucking friday.


So how about celebrating your success?

Pretty underrated if you ask me!

I have accomplished a monumentally painstaking, clit numbingly harsh, and excruciating task. One whole week that I didn't sleep with s! Amazing! You are probably wondering how I did it! I am actually a little concerned how, biologically, my body managed to go through an entire evening of compliments, caresses, hugs, making of eyes, stupid stupid man tricks, so many lovely tingly man tricks! ..... And I evaded them all with poise and grace (I am not even being sarcastic - I was a pillar of something that doesn't even have sex with attached cocks. )

I think I did it with self respect. Not in the gross I FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE MTSELF AND STOPPED THROWING MYSELF OFF BURNING BRIDFES INTO RAVINES FILLED WITH AIDS NEEDLES AND HARTBREAK way, but in the I realized that, even though I admire and look up to this person, (because he is pretty neat! ) at the end of the day he is a huge dilhole. type of way.

I know, I know, the competition for biggest dilhole in any Vancouver based social interaction is pretty cutthrouaght these days.  I usually am dilhole CHAMP (And I cringe, as suddenly it dawns on me the possible etymology of the word dilhole) and I usually win, but I think s takes the fucking cake.

Cheating on your girlfriend? What is this, 1875?

Its 2011 bra. Have a fucking threesome.

Am I the ONLY one embarrassed about the lack of appropriate, honest! timely, communication that could prevent the DESTRUCTION OF MARRIAGES; TEARING APART OF  COUPLES AND TOPPLING  OF BEST FRIENDSIESSHIPS!
How is this even an issue in this flipping day and age of mother fucking skype and ipads and smartphones and for the love of pancakes, facetime? PEOPLE. put down the trazodone and pick up some FREE LOVE! AND SHARE IT WITH ALL YOUR BEST FRIENDS! AND STOP SLEEPING WITH TWENTYSOMETHING GIRLS! (that last rant was for the older kids) all we really need is FREELOVVE.... SO LETS DO IT.

I mean, things are better than before, for true.  


okay! celebrate!
So I am going to hug the shit out of today with the smiths, an icy midday foot bath, and vodcrans before work. And t!

xoxoxox! :):)