Monday, January 31, 2011

Lions and sled dogs dying all over the place :(

This is appaling, I am on my way to work with mother fucking TEARS IN THE CORNERS OF MY EYES.
I want to expand on this later, but long story short. 100 sled dogs culled, shot, dead, because apparantly their purpose in life had expired! They were no longer needed! Their lives were not worth it! NOT TRUE I SAY! Frick.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Social Interaction Is Important folks

So I make poor life choices sometimes. For instance, this beautiful thrashingly wet morning I was in gastown, looking for somewhere cozy to hole up in and while away the day. Then boom, im in starbucks.

Moving on. I find a little corner to sit in and ponder and sip my tea, in close proximity to another empty chair. Soon empty chair is occupied by a tall, handsome oh so dreamy babe. We both sit in our respective silences and twiddle with our phones drink our coffee/teas you know, no big deal or anything..then boom. Were you at a funeral on friday.? I smile quizzically and say no, shaking my head. My hair was in a ponytail so the head shake was more to emphasiss the luxurious length of my ponytail.
He then murmurs that he has been trying to figure out where he knows me from, leaps out of his chair and bolts.... .bolts. out. Of. Starbucks. It is monumental how odd it was.

Oh well, another day, another babe another rain splattered afternoon pondering all of my strange social encounters. Hehe.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Going out tonight was a good ide a. Unntil i fucking sucked and had no friends

Q. Is it weird for 20yogirls to date 30yo boys?
A. Yes, only because the sex is def going to be horrible.

My life revolves around boysboysboys right now. I want to make out/cuddle/stare into the eyes of every babe i meet. Every babe I pass, sit close to on th train, see on a billboard, pay to make me drinkss. I usually have to bring extra panties with me wherever I go because I spend about 99.5% of my time turned on ie. I am sopping wet down there. Ew, gross, I know too much too soon we just met blah blah. I don't want to scare you off with the gross details of my life, but I feel like this nearly constant state of arousal I live is an important factor in nearly every experience of my life..... ahahahaha.
So.... anways this boy/man I have been seeing lately, maybe we were not even at the stage of seeing each other. We were probs just even moooore casual than seeing each other, whatever stage that is. But yes, we have had several encounters that included sex most of the time, dinner once, a movie or two, beers everywhere and a show or something. Sober hang out, check. Hanging with the buds across town, check. Awkward(or awesome?) Convos with the roomies, double check check check. However....... this road we were on..... it was headed NOWHERE. Our entire intertwinement was just a build up in MY mind. Ie, a set up for disazzzzzzz.
I am 20. He is 30. And I want sex, but he does too much cocaine..... and that is tragedy on too many levels.
Plus there was last night, where I was rejected on every social platform available.

So my weekly resolution is to go to Shoppers, buy a shit load of beauty products, work out a bit, write, and just generally be amazing.

As an offnote, an aside, an offtopic note..... I did get picked up while peeing in the street after rampage partying. So maybe I'm kinda awesome to begin with, I don't know, I'm not a social anthropologist.

I love you.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

2010 is dead, and so are my nerve endings. Re: I feel no pain or emotions

The day started out brisk and delicious, a quick jaunt to starbucks because due to events coinciding with the hangover outfit of death at my fav jj bean, i needed an interim tea provider replacement.
I walk in all glamourous and wind swept wearing something that made me feel like walking 20 blocks in all directions simultanouesly just so every single person in the west end would see me.

Whew. Im exhausted some days.

Then boom. Right there, smiling coquetteishly all black dye and anorexia is the only person in the whole entire world who wears more makeup than me, and lover, he was stunning.

Of course he was gay, or homoflexible at the most conservative. He looked like he was twleve and he was ferocity all pent up ready to pour me some liquid love. He inspired me, that no matter how many naysayers there are, no matter what the fuck your occupation is, no matter how o.b.v.i.o.u.s. you are with your out of control voluptous waves, in your gross hipster man boots and sexy split ankle trousers you are sparkley and you are perfect.
Just remeber folks, your appearance plays a huge part in who's attracted to you, and that is a prerogative completely seperate from YOU anyway.

ps, i would totally sexxxx you right now if this internet was in the way, that's how beautious you are.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I made this blog on my phone and there are severe spellcheck deficiencies, I'm sorry jeez.

So you may have noticed my posts have a definite and major recurring theme. Its not that i am a one track mind (all of the time). I have an amazing job that challenges ne physically AND intelectually. I am so stoked on the path my culinary career is taking, and everyday i count my blerssings, even the non sexy ones like toothpasste and amazingly scented body butter. Because those are totally important too.

I find that i feel like writing here when I am overwhelmed with emotions, such as fear, frustration, happiness, etc. Sometimes I DO NOT want to discuss certain topics with people I know, or I need to discuss certain things beyond the boundaries that normal/sane/non therapists can stand to listen. That is why I love YOU. I don't know who you are, or if you even exist. But you are amazing and kind and I want to hear all about your dreams and anguishes too.
I have issues whose pools of murky grossness I have not even dipped into here, I am not sure if I ever will. I want to be a voice of support and reassurance, an inspiration to young kindred girls like me, navigating a wet and grey city armed only with a single tube of burts bees and a limited data plan.
I want to write about what I am living through, like real life and all that shizz. Currently my real life is most likely NOT a beacon of mentorish goodness. Espeicially because I am usually the role of protege, fucking up, making mistakes, and then being gently nudged towards a better way of doing things. Like baby eagles or some shit.
Anywayzies, just wanted to say........
I love you. Thank you!

Insert catchy trance club beat lyrics HERE.

Flipping heck, I totally dislike when people text useless shit. Do you understand, that is a converstaion KILLER? It's dead babe. Dead.
Expanding on this topic TWENTY USELESS TEXTS LATER......all of this for a friday hangout.... when today is tuesday..... and our relationship is explicitely based on relieving sexual tension. Except actually, i have been left sexually tense after our first and only encounter thus far. My attention is wavering. (Its okay to be a ho-bag sometimes right?)

Assuming your answer is a resounding yes.... let us backtrack several days and venture into the space/time continuum/vortex of sexxx that was new years eve or new years day. For those of you like me, that finished work at the stroke of 12:30 anyway.
It was magically, i had been expecting to be there till the wee hour of 1am. And then boom, i am in full sparkly reglige, with bestie in hand off to a club to dance all our worries away.

Anywaysies, long story short (mostly because in my memory, 7+ hours of partaying feels super short) here is a list of what I "accomplished" . The word I is used loosely here folks, as I was a part of a dynamo team that night.

• got in club for free
• drank myself silly. For free.
• danced on a stage (god please wipe that part out of the collective subconcious)
• made out with a superbabe
• meet a few more superbabes
• exchanged numbers with MILLIONS OF BEAUTIFUL BOYS, muhahahaha evil laugh, inserted, here.
• took over the world with my contagious sweetness and charm
• spilled beer all over my friend's drawings, or as some put it, priceless art you couldn't afford.
• cleaned up beer with expensive scarf whilst exhuding platnium levels of charm
• sexxed artist friend after everyone went home
• said goodbyes, so longs, maybe sang a bit to everyone as they went home.
• found lost id!? It was a New Years Miracle.
• woke up the next day..... we will fast forward to when i woke up that evening in my OWN bed...... to texts and emails that made me smile.

I think my new years resolution is not to be such a novice/embarrassing spectacle. (Although, I will continue to be sparkly. Forever.)

Anyways, love love, and I promise I will never send you silly dead end texts. Because I know first hand how traumatic they are to receive.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Very Important food news. its delicious. i promise.

..... on my phone..... long url but I am tasting this shizz as we speak. And lover, it is divine. I am probably one of several vegetarians that fucking hates tofu, and after reading articles about how soy has potential to harm a body,

Cut it out completely.

But my tummy loves hodo tofo, its so tasty and stylish.

Especially in a sexy little pesto dish. (I have to go... I am having a food induced climax.) Ohmygosh.