Thursday, October 13, 2011

froyo dinner = best dinner

Look whos getting shit figured out!

The past two weeks have been UTTERLY AMAZING. of course, the bliss of this new and dusky autum has been peppered with the shitfaced jacob conversations i have been inundated, with....but really! pish posh, there is basically the most magical season ever unfolding before our very eyes, as the earth prepares itself for the barren weeks (days? oh vancouver sky) of WINTER.
this is our last peek at the beauty that was 2011 before she croaks, gently staining our boots with salty kisses, passing away as quiet as descending snow, before her passion fueled corpse decomposes languidly in our memories over the next year.

i feel like the holiday season is already here! the social part i suppose. brunch dates, coffee dates, movies, etc dog walks, cozy hang outs, new boots! letters from gramma! oh man this september was good, and I havent failed to notice the stellar nature october has adopted thus far. im looking at you thanksgiving. you turned up last minute, the stroke of tuesday hovering above. thanks! I mean it!

I have decided to stop despairing. For a while at least!
I am going to be TOO BUSY for despair!

I am going to the Gastown Winter Farmers market this Sunday for starters! I am so ticklish just at the thought, I am seriously smiling deliriously at this stupid computer screen for no reason other than i am excited to go look at vegetables in gastown. oh autumn! you make me cwazy!
but yea, you should for sure go as well.

And I also am now the proud owner of two jobs! as in I have not one, but two sources of income! and let me tell ya, if being able to afford a six pack of stella every week is amazing, imagine having A TWELVE PACK.

i love my life.

Friday, October 7, 2011


Whats new?

Computer fritzed out
Jacob fritzed out
Thanksgiving is fritzing the fuck out

so, being the sebum savant that i am..... decided to diffuse that little dickfaced cockanus with....

wait for it.....

BANGS. as in I cut my own mothafuxcing hair y'all!
as in i am an idiot. because, let us get REAL here. my little pimpsies will be gone by tomorrow, but i will be Bangsalot McCowface for several months.

Okay. First world drama. Let us talk about Jacob.
he hasnt called me in two days
we havent hung out in four days
he is suddenly over burdened with 'school' and 'being to drunk to see me' .... this is bad.
you see, i dont want to be this kids girlfriend. i want to be who he hangs out with when he's stressed out from school and being drunk all the time!
i feel so disgusting! This kid clearly does not even want to fuck me when he's WASTED! He tells me that he doesnt want me to see him like that but all I hear is that he thinks my vagina is icky.

im doing shots of tequila in my bed and masturbating until this horrible nightmare ends.