Tuesday, January 31, 2012

6 days till Waikiki

Do people think you are really nice? I mean like, sooper dooper way too fucking nice so they are going to teach you a lesson by taking advantage of you, shitting all over everything, touching your motherfucking mis en place and asking you to make them food when you are FUCKING BUSY and then.... As it turns out they had this huge quinoa salad anyway? WHY ARE SO CHEAP AND WHY DO WANT TO EAT ALL OF VEGETARIAN LASAGNA FOR FREE. Why are you trying to control me and why do think I  am so fucking nice.   
 
I am almost, 110% a huge CUNT.    
 
Just because you haven't seen my face of disdain and disgust and hatred yet, does NOT mean it does not exist.  In fact, you are lucky and should be counting your blessed fucking stars that you haven't seen it yet because you would melt into a sphere of fear and remorse, coated Ina thin film of the sticky bronzer you wear.  
 
YOu would cease to resist in the alternate reality that is the fucking kitchen.   
 
Plus, it has been 34 days since I have had sex.  
Watch out. 

....ps LOVE YOU THOUGH!