Monday, December 26, 2011

....and they taste like wet toilet paper.

Jacob and I are official. As in, we actually do stuff in the daytime now. It's one thing to have a boyfriend, it's quite another to have somebody that wants to see your shit in the daytime, on the street, in a mall. He would do annnnything for me when he's drunk as fuck, but does he feel the same way sober? The girl with the Bartender sucking her boobs.

However, the world is my oyster, or more precisely the world is a cornucopia filled with aphrodisiac/sexxxytime magical vegetarian oysters that never expire because I am 21 and everybody loves 21yo girls.

Sooooooooo should I feel bad about that time I slept with the gm of xxxxxxxxxx, where by the WAY my fav female chef in all of vancouver is situated, in whistler, for no better reason than I was MODERATELY MOTHAFUCKING DRUNK. This was not even me making shitfaced decisions, I was simply in an emotional upheaval over world and personal events that are so far beyond my control. Whew.

It was amazing by the way.

I don't think I like having sexxxytime with Jacob anymore, maybe I am secretly still in that non slutty phase I was discussing earlier. Maybe his smell repulses me.

Perhaps I AM a hoe-bag and need to come to terms with this verifiable truth before the corrosive consequences of such a state of existing dissolves every good part of my life...

Who knows? Muahahahahah!