Wednesday, November 2, 2011

so last thursday I anticipated being 'sober' it ended up becoming....

The night i almost made sweet bartender love in a bed belonging to the gm of granville room

Well, that happened. Or should I say, almost happened. There was a lot of mouth on mouth......?..... pants mostly on. Was I wearing socks? He was really hot. not as hot as m though, but then pulls out the ol' you're a 7.5 and too hot to work in a kitchen line. as if I need HIS validation for petes sake. as if i am a 7.5! I think I was an 8.5 that night.
I am immensely glad I was too drunk to sleep with him to prove him wrong, self respect peoples.


I woke up the next day with the following inventory on my person:

NYPD tie clippy - stolen from hawksworth bartender as I was undressing him as he was making drinks. he saaid it was all good though.

Burts Bees - Curious, as I was in a boys apt all night and was using clinique black honey at the time.

wooden knob thingy - possible from a cupbourd. I want to make it clear that I do not have a history of disassembling furniture in any type of inebriated state.

Blackberry Bold, unlocked.

Empty pocket where MY phone is meant to rest its angel head...

The ANGUISH I felt was now increased tenfold as not only had I spent a drunken evening, blitzed out' SHAMELESSLY HITTING ON AND MAKING OUT WITH BARTENDERS. PLURAL.. But I had simultaneously stolen a phone and lost my own.

this was a low point, I can recognize that now. I think I need help! I need my friends to be there with me in my weakpoints ad remind me how FILTHY AND DISGUSTING industry people are and that I am just making everything worse by sucking face with these soul less entities... bartenders..

Oh gosh.