Thursday, November 17, 2011

Yea, I called Jacob. and I def gave it up. Now lets turn our discretion voices on and talk about private things.


Hey. You! Over there in the non prescrips and gross aa infinity scarf!
first thhings first. that stache is awful. your mo needs to go! I mean yea, everytime I look at you I basically cum a thousand fluid ounces all over myself and pass out just from how obnoxiously good looking you are.
but for real, i mean real TALK right now..... that shit is scrapey.

second point.... I need to tell you a secret.
PLEASE DO NOT think differently of me.

....Actually, DO! defriend me from fb, judge me, erase that brunch date you pencilled in your date book, discard all of our texts. because I have changed and you may not want to contact me ever again.

I am having non slutty feelings.

as in...... I may have an end goal in life that does not hang delicately on the premise of having a gratified vagina at all times.

as in..... I do not walk down the street eye fucking everysingle stached up super stud that I pass

as in...... I am level headed enough to not want to hang out with douchey boys just to get some.

as in..... I have new standards. I don't know where they came from, who installed them, or much the bill is going to be.

I just know that suddenly, my privates feel like an unexplored cavern that my whore hands are not even good enough for.

When will the sexxing resume?
how much of this cold and unbearable winter do I have to spend unaroused?
will it help if i peruse my little lady porn stash everyday?



oh gosh, why are my early twenties being so confusing.